wishing i was a beatnik.

By lord_beanus_christ

i am a deranged thing.
fantasies and embellishments,
hallucinogen-frenzied wanderer.

up all night counting threads on the blanket
naming each one after a lover long-gone.

i, too, live for madness.

i studied the silouhette
of a man who took himself too seriously
and i weighed his humility
with how wide he smiled back.

it was rare and beautiful.

cheap whiskey shots
and hitched rides from sullen strangers
on tennessee back roads in the hot of summer,

i think that i am also a hungered bum
in search of something stellar and miraculous
underneath the dirt of this
whim-weary world.

i find myself lost in the lust
of the unplanned,
clinging to the
rawness of the insecure nude,
the angered, stifled fists,
and the straying eyes
of the adulterous.

i fear i will never be tame.

i want to know the blood inside
of every man,
read the words of every philosopher,
in the books or on the streets,
to guide back home every lost child
with accompanying directions
for losing his way again,

and perhaps most importantly,
i want to never lose the drive
to be wild

and unashamed.

because when i find myself apologizing
for ravenous, committed sins

i fear that i most certaintly
will have lived too long.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2007 lord_beanus_christ
Published on Wednesday, April 5, 2017.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "wishing i was a beatnik."

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  • KatherineStyles132 On Tuesday, February 4, 2014, KatherineStyles132 (24)By person wrote:

    I really like this poem, It really spoke to me. You expressed this so well!!

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Monday, January 27, 2014, TropicalSnowstorm (1719)By person wrote:

    "to guide back home every lost child with accompanying directions for losing his way again" - I love this poem! Great, flowing, meandering journey of the perpetual seeker expressed so very well! Ciao, T/S Scholar

  • Jonas On Tuesday, December 23, 2008, Jonas (768)By person wrote:

    i both like and dislike this poem. i like it because it speaks of freedom and adventure and of creation and expression. i don't like it because it seems to put up limitations like walls declaring some things good and some things bad denying guilt and apology which are present realities... keroac is dead and was a jerk his values are under thought and lack something needed by the living... if he really had it as figured out as we give him credit for i don't think he would have died by rotting out his stomach with cheap alcohol in an attempt to escape.

  • Jonas On Tuesday, December 23, 2008, Jonas (768)By person wrote:

    if you are alive you have not lived too long. and if you feel at all then what you feel can't be wrong. another side to wild another side to shame another side to apology and another side to blame.

  • Sketso On Monday, July 27, 2009, Sketso (462)By person wrote:

    I think it throws up transparent walls, as to say... even in freedom, we live under our own restrictions and/or presupposition.

  • A former member wrote: Echo, echo, echo.

  • The Lipstick Factor On Wednesday, December 10, 2008, The Lipstick Factor (300)By person wrote:

    The universe works in mysterious ways...and wonderful, wonderful things are found in dark, unexplored corners...I am currently reading Kerouac....how serendipitous to have found myself here...reading this. Hats off to you--this is one of the best works I have read...truly a work of art.

  • purr_verse On Sunday, April 27, 2008, purr_verse (1037)By person wrote:

    *bows, applauds* This is the best discovery I've read here for quite some time. I wish I had some damn bookmark room; this is outstanding.

  • MGood On Monday, March 10, 2008, MGood (61)By person wrote:

    this one made me smile. really truly groovy! ~M

  • Sketso On Friday, November 2, 2007, Sketso (462)By person wrote:

    Wow! I'll read this one several times over... pure inspiration for those of us battling 'the norm' expectations of us. Thank you greatly!

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