Raw Birth

By RubyXero

I tried to do the impossible.
I tried to live for you.
Through you.
Each day in feigned confidence
giving myself 'pep' talks
for your benefit.
-I aimed high
and fought harder.
....but for what?
I'll give you a sappy love song
fill your page with sexual desires;
pretend that I care.
And is that how this time's been wasted?
...by pretending?

You say you love me.
Really... you love being loved.
you. love. you

Meanwhile in my chosen "imprisonment"
I haven't lived my life in 2 years!
..........................*i haven't lived.*

I found my fault today.
The cover for my infatuation
with misery....
it is the warm body beside me.
As long as I have. someone.
I am content.

suppressing = depression
forming = self esteem
holding = vulnerability

I shed that porcelain skin
black and grime caked.
A shell that burst into dust.
.I. did not stretch free,
instead curling upon myself
eyes darting around.
R a w

(so must I rebuild this foundation
for now I birth with dirt.)---

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2009 RubyXero
Published on Monday, February 2, 2009.     Filed under: "Reflective" and "Poetry"
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Comments on "Raw Birth"

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  • A former member wrote: WOW! This just made me happy after i read it. Used. suppressing = depression forming = self esteem holding = vulnerability its something which i was going through some time back... have written down a few lines on it as well, will b posting it soon.

  • MESUN On Thursday, February 5, 2009, MESUN (233)By person wrote:

    wow, that's definitely a new way to say the things i've scolded myself about many times. specially the part about being with someone who just wants you to pay attention to them.

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